Monday, June 16, 2014

the emptying nest

It is very quiet at my house. There's only one child at home this week. As a mom to five kids, noise and chaos is the norm, along with mountains of laundry, a dishwasher that runs at least twice a day, piles of dirty dishes that don't fit in the dishwasher, and constant crumbs on the floor. Not to mention being barely able to leave the kitchen because someone is 'starving'. 

You know what? I love it.  I love being a mom and doing all the things related to it. But...things are changing. My oldest daughter is preparing to leave the house, and my youngest daughter has only one year left in school and then she will be gone. 

The whole house demographic will change. The pecking order, long established, will be up for grabs. Who will come out on top? The 12yr old who likes to have alone time? The 9 yr old who likes to cook and read? Or will it be the youngest boy, a joker who likes to get his own way? (who doesn't, right?)  It will be an interesting time.

I don't know if it's better when your kids leave all at once, like for those whose children are close together, or if they leave in a dribble is better.  Maybe a swift cut is the best, although it hurts. I suppose that really doesn't matter because it won't be that way for me.

When the girls are out of the house, it will be different. And different isn't always bad, but sometimes it isn't good. It will take some getting used to, I know that for sure.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

you want syrup on that waffle?

So many things are in your face these days; there’s no subtlety any more. Headlines blare the latest celebrity faux pas and hurried apology.  Atheists scream about dummies who believe in Creation rather than evolution.  Churches waffle about homosexuality or hold out welcoming arms.    

Despite that brashness, I see a lot of waffling lately in society, from the cool pastor who refuses to publicly address homosexuality to the teenager who merely shrugs when confronted with a controversial issue. What’s the deal? Doesn’t anyone have an opinion anymore? Why are we so afraid to speak our minds? No one likes a waffler. Not even Jesus:

Revelation 3:16: So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of My mouth.

Pretty strong words there. But it’s easy to relate, especially when you think about having a piece of warmish food in your mouth when it’s supposed to be cold or hot. Yuck.

This political correctness has gone way too far. I think we still live in America, right? Land of the free, home of the brave, you know, the place so many soldiers have died so we could be free? You familiar with that country, or has it changed so much that it’s nearly unrecognizable?

There’s a herd mentality in America. Everyone’s afraid to form an independent opinion, to step off the escalator and forge a new direction. It reminds me of this verse:

Matthew 7:13  Enter ye in by the narrow gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many are they that enter in thereby.

 That’s Jesus talking again, in case you didn’t know.  He’s basically saying that it’s no easy thing to walk the Christian walk. I personally find this verse a little frightening. So many people are on the broad way, just traveling along wherever the crowd goes, oblivious to the truth.

And what is the truth? The truth is that Jesus is the Son of God and he came to earth, lived 33 years as a man and then died on the cross and rose again so that we can have new life through Him. That wasn’t the end of it though. He had some parting words:

Mark 16:15 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.

Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

Are we doing that? Are we telling every person that Jesus Christ died for their sins? Are we doing enough?

Am I doing enough?  That’s the hard, soul-searching question every Christian should ask themself, and no waffling allowed.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014


2003 marks the year I became a writer. I joined a website,, and the stories just flowed out. Some were good, some not-so good, but the one thing they all had in common, for the most part, was they were dark. Dark in intent, dark characters, dark, dark, dark. That's a nicer way of saying they were horror stories, mostly.  I did have some 'nice' stories, too

After that momentous year, I continued to write and dream of being published novelist, although I didn't do too much to make it happen. Chicken, remember?  I didn't believe in myself like I needed to, and really, I wasn't using my talent for the glory of God at all.

I aim to change that. I've been asking the Lord to show me what He wants me to do with this writing talent He's given me, and I know He'll make it known eventually.

I don't know if I'll be writing fiction; I told someone recently that fiction is what I do best, that nonfiction wasn't something I was very good at, but what if that's not true? What if I can write truth? Wouldn't that be something? 

Not only has my writing subject changed (no more scary, evil stuff), the books I like to read has as well. Horror fiction used to be my genre of choice, but now I have no desire to read that stuff. I'm not saying I only read Christian fiction now, because like Christian music, it's hit and miss as far as quality goes. I still read a plethora of genres, because reading is my main pleasure in life. I have to be careful with that, though, because it would be easy for books to become an idol in my life. I recently learned that an idol is anything more important than God in your life. Everyone has idols; and not just one, I think.

Why has my focus changed? I think it's because I've grown closer to God, and I want to stay that way. Hard to do if you're constantly thinking of evil things and stuff like that. Philippians 4:8 says to think on pure and lovely things, and that's what I'm trying to do.

I still want to write, I'm just not sure what to do. How can I promote/market what I've already written if I'm not in love with it anymore? I know it's not crap, so why can't I stop thinking that it is?

Writing isn't easy.

Sunday, June 8, 2014


A book that I don't use enough is Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus. As I was pondering this first post, I tried to think beyond the ordinary cliché of life: that it is a journey, which it is.  I'm a lover of words; I like unusual-sounding words and little-used words.  Enter said book, which I've had for a number of years. Let's consider the word journey, shall we?

Journey--noun.  trip, expedition, excursion, tour, ,trek, voyage, junket, cruise, ride, drive, jaunt, crossing, passage, flight, travels, wandering, globe-trotting, odyssey, pilgrimage, peregrination.

Life is an excursion/junket/odyssey/jaunt/peregrination.  After seeing those words, journey just seems too mundane.


We are here on the earth for only a set amount of time; God knows how long for each person. It's up to us to live our lives the way we want, and what I want for my life and for my family is to serve God the best that I can and share Jesus Christ.

I admit to being somewhat of a chicken; I was thinking today exactly what it is that I am afraid of when I think of giving people the Gospel. I'm not sure. More thought and prayer is needed.

I want this blog to be a place where I can reflect on my life and how God is working in me. For some time I've just been sort of drifting along, and I don't want to do that any more. I want to have a purposeful life. I want to know God's will and follow it.

My peregrination has begun.